Why are you hiding your TRUTH?

How to be assertive

Have you ever felt you HAD to do something or go somewhere to appease others even though you didn't want to? 

Have you spent endless hours coming to the rescue of others at the expense of yourself? 

We have all been there.

I am an earth dominant element (Chinese 5 Elemental Personalities), and I'm sure many of you are too.

Earth elements are the ones who would do anything and everything for others, the ones who always make sure everyone feels included, the ones who make their home a safe haven for themselves and others, the ones who live their life with lovers. They are the healers, the teachers, the mothers (in all senses) and unfortunately, they are the ones who tend to lack assertiveness. 

I invite you today, to stop this load of unnecessary crap and start living your life on your own terms. 

Doing things you don't WANT to do is detrimental to your integrity. It is a vampire that sucks your positive energy. It is the creation of war within yourself. 

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If you don't have integrity for yourself, take care of yourself physically and emotionally first, then what do you really have left at the end?

So why do we do this?

Why do we hide our truth and are afraid to say no?  

Why do we sacrifice ourselves, our time, our well-being over and over again so that others can prevail? 

HERES THE BREAKDOWN

  • We are afraid to disappoint others

  • We are afraid that others won't like us

  • We are afraid that we won't be loved

  • We are afraid that we will look bad

  • We are afraid of saying no

  • We believe that we are expected to do this, to sacrifice ourselves, and act this way because its what we learned from our family or society

  • We believe that if we don't take care of others, be there for others, then no one else will

  • We believe that if we say no, that the other person(s) might feel abandoned and we don't want anyone to feel bad

  • We want everyone to feel loved

  • We want everyone to love us as well

And the list continues on. 

At the core, we lack integrity with ourselves and assertiveness. 

So here's the thing. In order to elevate your self-worth and strength, there are a few keys.

  1. You have to learn to see your own worth and respect it

  2. You have to learn the difference between passiveness, aggression and assertiveness

  3. You have to learn to properly communicate

  4. You have to learn how to say no and practice it often

  5. You have to learn how to receive

  6. You have to learn to protect your energy while you're around certain people and places

The thing is, its easier said than done. Maybe we were never TAUGHT how to respect ourselves from our parents. Maybe we were SO AFRAID to become the aggressive person that we ourselves feared as a child, so we became totally passive... there are so many reasons for it. 

All my love,

Bianca 

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